Scared

I am scared about actually finishing something as in all through the editing process ready to submit something finished. Why am I scared? Thinking it is because then I have nothing stopping me from submitting but my own self.

I admit it on occasion but never to the degree that it bothers me. I am going to do that now in hopes that I can at least push forward.

My writing although I think is imaginative seems lacking something. Perhaps it is because in high school and some in college, the papers always suffered but it was never because of the content but because of the grammar. I am terrible at grammar spending hours upon hours trying to fix things only to be more confused.

I am a stay at home mom because at this point in time it was financially smarter to stay home then to go to work and pay for daycare only to be bringing home and extra 20-50 a week. That should change since I now have at least some kind of college degree but I have not really started looking only because we are waiting to find out about my husband’s job interview.

SAHM is not a bad thing it has become a wonderful thing. I have the ability to watch my kids grow up learning all kinds of things, watching the boys grow with each other. I am able to pick my daughter up from school. It has actually let me get a lot of writing done to improve upon myself. However, as I sit back and look what I have done. Spent hours writing instead of spending time with my family over the course of the past few years only to realize that I will probably never be published.

I want to be but I probably never will be. I have invested all this time for the possibility of nothing and I am scared. 

Until next time! 

Welcome 2013!

It is a new year. How about that?  2012 left and in came 2013. Are you ready for it?

The end of the year came sneaking up on me with a bang. It was fun and fine though. 

I did not achieve my personal goal of 100,000 words or something edited this past December but I did finish a few longer things. It is actually pretty awesome if I do say so myself. 

This year I intend on working toward completely finishing at least one novel, the whole editing process and all. Whether it will be ready for me to submit personally I do not know. Nervous, very nervous about even trying. What if it's not good? What if it is good? Will I always be trying to making it of worse what happens if the book takes off and I cannot write another one? 

It's almost easier to hide out but I do not think I will ever be satisfied just writing and never trying to do anything more. Besides if I never actually try then I feel bad for all the wasted time. Never should I ever be able think of it as wasted time. 

Going to spend the next few days actually planning on how I am going to achieve this. 

Until next time, Happy Writing!

Finished MR! :)

I finished the first draft of a story. However, it was a fan fiction but still it is completed and it is one more thing off my list. 

Realizing that I have a lot of open stories taking up a lot of space in my head I decided that finishing fan fictions is not a bad way to spend time. I am still writing and I am still improving with every page I write. Never will it be publishable but any sort of writing can be good right?

Initially the story Muggle Relations was only supposed to be a short as most of my fan fictions are however, somewhere down the line it went from an under 10,000 words to almost 35,000, plus more after a revision. I know I missed a few scenes around there. 

I started this story back in 2010 I believe and only wrote about 3,000 words at that point so now almost two years later I have finished it. Of course, the first part was very well written in my honest opinion as I took the time to write it versus the remainder 30,000 which was rushed more so then I would have liked. Inspiration hits when it hits. 

Now I am off to work on You Don't Know Me it's another fan fiction from 2008, long time ago! Luckily it's only a few thousand words into it and rewriting the beginning should not take too long. 

Happy Holidays and until next time, happy writing! 

Almost New Year!

It's almost the new year! 

My writing has fallen down but that is because well it's been the holidays and it is really hard getting the time to write. At least to write a lot. 

Spending time with the family is more of a top priority. Especially because I know the new year things could be changing up. 

Still waiting to hear about my husband's job interview. From the start we have decided that it was better to go with the assumption that he would not be getting it. That way we would not be getting our hopes up. 

Slowly starting to get things a bit organized around the house just in case he does get some good news about the job interview. Then it might make a few things easier, doubtful but hopeful. 

Still have a few days left of the month to finish up a few things though I doubt things are going to be finished but I can try. 

12/20/2012

I have skipped out on two posts, it was no my intention but I did. Still I have shone more disciplined for this then ever before. 

My writing has slowed which makes me wonder how in the world I can write so much during NaNoWriMo. It's not for the lack of material because I sure have enough to finish writing two of the work in progress. It must be from time commitments. 

I have more then enough to get started on the second book to Hi There, Boy. Now that I am thinking about it I will be switching that title to Hey There, Boy, instead. It seems to roll of the tongue a little better. 

Hey There, Boy  is on of my ideas that I started to write as a trilogy but then after I started to write based on my outline I realized I only touched on about a tenth of my outline that was currently a work in progress (about half way done outline) as I hit 40,000.  I realized that Nate who was a side character was going to play a more heartier role then what I set him out to play. Hitting on more day to day life. That's when I realized it was going to become a series.  

All this will probably be for my own benefit as I am not sure how marketable series are without tv shows involved. I see lots of trilogies and saga's but few and far from series that do not have a tv show before or after the books came out. If anyone knows of any please by all means let me know. I would love to read more recent ones. I know Sweet Valley High and the Baby Sitter's Club were popular when I was growing up. 

I think that perhaps really for me is not finding other things that I would like to do. Once I sit down I can usually focus on the writing for a short period of time. Some days I crank out 5,000 words easy upwards of 10,000 words. Other days I will lucky to clock 500 words. It kind of is a let down. 

Until next time, Happy Writing! 

Missed it by 15 minute!

I missed doing this blog by fifteen minutes but I am going to do what my friend does and says it's not tomorrow until after I fall asleep and wake back up. 

In that case I still think it's the 17th. Yep it's lying but I am okay with that little fib here I think. 

Today was an overly productive day. I wrote about 10k today. Again I think the last 30 words or so were when the clocked switched over the midnight. 

The story is slowly coming along and my hands are tired since I crammed in 4k in the last 2 hours or so. Tomorrow should be really good because I am planning on finishing this story! 

Tired and sleep sounds good. 

Until next time! 

9 Days Till Christmas

I am ready for it to come and go. Actually, I don't all the way my kids really enjoy this time of year. I just really do not like the real tree we have. It's shedding a lot. Then there's the crowds outside, now I am remembering why I decide to spend many of my days inside. 

Almost no writing down this season but there is still plenty of time to get some things done. 

Going to start working on book 2, part 2, however you want to call it. The next book in the series, Hi There, Boy Since it could be a stand alone book I thought I would edit it and then write the next one but instead I think I am going to write the next one or two then kind of edit. Smaller books so I do no think it will take as long as some of my others. However, I do need to add about 5k to the first one. 

I can just keep adding to my list of things to edit, it's beginning to rapidly grow. It actually worries me a little bit because I don't know if I will ever get done. 

We shall see what I can get done in the next week! Hopefully a lot. 

Until next time, happy writing!